My goal recently was to fit in my True Religion (tm) jeans by my birthday. It was a snug fit, but they actually buttoned and I wore them all day!
Which brings me to birthdays. I HATE them! Why? Let me count the ways:
1. You automatically become the center of attention.
2. Your expectations of the day always fall short of what happens.
3. No matter what, people feel obligated to be nice/call/say happy birthday.
4. Somehow there is always fighting. Whether the other party is aware of my passive-aggressiveness really isn't my problem. Sometimes I hate estrogen.
We all have moments, usually called epiphanies. Today was one of those days. I went to the gym on a Friday night at 8. I was so excited just to run. As I ran looking around at the nearly empty gym, I thought to myself, "Look at these gym junkies! Double oo-er!". But then I thought "Am I one of them?!" I mean all I look forward to is going to the gym. When life gets hard I just want to run. Is that bad?! Everyone always thinks that they are in control of their addictions, but in reality, are we really?! No. Of course not. At that moment I realized I was training myself for a life of single-hood. I literally started laughing that I will probably die alone.
Update on my life:
USH finally rehired me. I'm moving back to Utah next week. I have no idea where I'm going to live, but I'm starting to embrace the idea of being a gypsy. I still hate sad movies. I really, really hate them. My reality is sad enough.
I realized something else. When a girl says "It's fine" and "Really, it's fine" it has two completely different meanings. The first is passive-aggressive. It's not fine, she's just saying that. The second usually means that it's actually fine. Yesterday, I meant "it's fine".
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Seriously 2011?!
So 3 weeks before I came home from my mission my Grandpa Englund died. Seriously Grandpa?! You couldn't have waited 3 weeks?! Today, my Grandpa Barrus passed away. I have been very good about the whole thing knowing that he's with my grandma and is healthy with no pain, but my mom is a wreck. I don't know how to help her. I've cut myself off emotionally, as always, to deal with everything but how can I help her?! I just have to keep leaving the room when she's crying because I don't know what to do, which is completely not like me. Thank you 2011.
So, in true Englund style, we had a dance party that involved my little sisters, my littlest brother, my mom, and I dancing. They showed me all of the dance moves that I had missed in the past year and a half, including the dougie, jerk, and stanky leg. It was amazing and would have lightened anyone's bad day. I wish you all could have been here.
Yes, that's chocolate on his face. He is the reason I'm addicted to chocolate. I'm so grateful I had the opportunity to take a train and visit my grandpa before my mission. I love and miss him tons, but I know he's watching and helping me now.
So, in true Englund style, we had a dance party that involved my little sisters, my littlest brother, my mom, and I dancing. They showed me all of the dance moves that I had missed in the past year and a half, including the dougie, jerk, and stanky leg. It was amazing and would have lightened anyone's bad day. I wish you all could have been here.
Yes, that's chocolate on his face. He is the reason I'm addicted to chocolate. I'm so grateful I had the opportunity to take a train and visit my grandpa before my mission. I love and miss him tons, but I know he's watching and helping me now.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Crying at the Gym
When I go to the gym, I watch the TV and run. Sometimes I bike. I have never wanted to eat at Denny's so bad in my life. Their value menu looks delicious.
One thing that almost made me cry today was this. I actually started crying when I showed it to my sister:
One thing that almost made me cry today was this. I actually started crying when I showed it to my sister:
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Why the Hush Hush?
So, after being sat down a second time, I realized that members of my family have been reading my blog and are subsequently offended. So, not to censor myself, I've set my blog on private. If you know of anyone who would like access to my blog, just let me know. I don't want to stop anyone from reading about my wonderful life.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Becoming Suzy Homemaker
Life is still a bit dull.
My dad and I finally finished reupholstering our couch. It only took 3 weeks.
I also made bread by myself. It turned out fabulous. Probably because I prayed before I started that I wouldn't ruin it. I'm completely serious.
I spent New Year's Eve with one of my besties, and the night turned out to be one of my favorites. The highlights of the night include but are not limited to:
-Getting lost on the way to a YSA dance and deciding to just watch the Space Needle's fireworks.
-Parking in the middle of the street to get out and watch the fireworks.
-Having an Indian man (dot not feather), who had a fabulous accent, take our picture.
-Having guys tap on our window and ask us where the party was. They had fake northern European accents.
-Getting on the wrong freeway entrance and ending up in west Seattle and finding the Goodwill outlet. Twice.
So I'm in the process of domesticating myself. After a long talk with Natalie, I realized that my free spirit needs to be caged. We'll see how this goes.
My dad and I finally finished reupholstering our couch. It only took 3 weeks.
I also made bread by myself. It turned out fabulous. Probably because I prayed before I started that I wouldn't ruin it. I'm completely serious.
I spent New Year's Eve with one of my besties, and the night turned out to be one of my favorites. The highlights of the night include but are not limited to:
-Getting lost on the way to a YSA dance and deciding to just watch the Space Needle's fireworks.
-Parking in the middle of the street to get out and watch the fireworks.
-Having an Indian man (dot not feather), who had a fabulous accent, take our picture.
-Having guys tap on our window and ask us where the party was. They had fake northern European accents.
-Getting on the wrong freeway entrance and ending up in west Seattle and finding the Goodwill outlet. Twice.
So I'm in the process of domesticating myself. After a long talk with Natalie, I realized that my free spirit needs to be caged. We'll see how this goes.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Sick of 24 Hour Fitness
Thanks to my bestie Jessie Cordell Chisleiehnslbm (I don't know how to spell your new last name) who informed me that she actually reads my blog. Since no one was leaving comments, I thought no one was reading and I was about to throw in the towel to my horribly depressing life.
Today I finally joined the gym. The 24 Hour Fitness. I worked out and only made it 1/2 mile on the elliptical before my lungs were burning so bad that I had to work it off on the treadmill. I was surrounded by gym junkies and high schoolers who were all trying to make eye contact with me. What they didn't know is that I'm extremely serious about going to the gym, that and I will not date someone who is obsessed with the gym. Been there, done that, no fun. Nor will I date anyone I met at the gym, because how lame would that story be if your parents met at the gym?! Anyways, I was biking and thinking, I could bike 3 miles no problem, and then I started to feel really, really nauseous. I thought, I'll just push through it, but for some reason Katie Cullen's voice came into my head telling me to take it easy my first time back. The Spirit, hallucination, or bestie telepathy? I don't know. I had to stretch it out for a good ten minutes before I felt well enough to walk to the car.
Why did I join the gym you may ask? Well, I was getting into the shower the other day, and I caught a glimpse of the horribleness that is my body. I seriously almost started crying. I look like I just a baby. The sad thing, is that I look like I just had a baby, but I didn't/don't get to experience the good things about having a baby.
I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. Mine was very low key, which was nice. My little sisters and I went to South-center mall to go shopping. As we were leaving, a news story came on the TV that told us that there was a shooting in the South-center parking lot yesterday. I love Seattle.
This is our Santa picture this year. My second oldest brother Tate refused to be in the picture because "I'm 27 and I can do what I want", so it's just his wife with us. My oldest brother Broc and his ex(actually we aren't sure if it's ex) moved back to Arizona, so it's just 5 at home now.
This picture took me 25 minutes to get it upright. I almost killed my dad over it.
My dad is currently lecturing me on how I shouldn't have a blog because it could offend people. Because you write about people. I said "I don't care" and he said "Well that's sad that you don't care" and continued to talk about offending people because of what I say. So, I'm sorry if I have offended anyone.
Today I finally joined the gym. The 24 Hour Fitness. I worked out and only made it 1/2 mile on the elliptical before my lungs were burning so bad that I had to work it off on the treadmill. I was surrounded by gym junkies and high schoolers who were all trying to make eye contact with me. What they didn't know is that I'm extremely serious about going to the gym, that and I will not date someone who is obsessed with the gym. Been there, done that, no fun. Nor will I date anyone I met at the gym, because how lame would that story be if your parents met at the gym?! Anyways, I was biking and thinking, I could bike 3 miles no problem, and then I started to feel really, really nauseous. I thought, I'll just push through it, but for some reason Katie Cullen's voice came into my head telling me to take it easy my first time back. The Spirit, hallucination, or bestie telepathy? I don't know. I had to stretch it out for a good ten minutes before I felt well enough to walk to the car.
Why did I join the gym you may ask? Well, I was getting into the shower the other day, and I caught a glimpse of the horribleness that is my body. I seriously almost started crying. I look like I just a baby. The sad thing, is that I look like I just had a baby, but I didn't/don't get to experience the good things about having a baby.
I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. Mine was very low key, which was nice. My little sisters and I went to South-center mall to go shopping. As we were leaving, a news story came on the TV that told us that there was a shooting in the South-center parking lot yesterday. I love Seattle.
This is our Santa picture this year. My second oldest brother Tate refused to be in the picture because "I'm 27 and I can do what I want", so it's just his wife with us. My oldest brother Broc and his ex(actually we aren't sure if it's ex) moved back to Arizona, so it's just 5 at home now.
This picture took me 25 minutes to get it upright. I almost killed my dad over it.
My dad is currently lecturing me on how I shouldn't have a blog because it could offend people. Because you write about people. I said "I don't care" and he said "Well that's sad that you don't care" and continued to talk about offending people because of what I say. So, I'm sorry if I have offended anyone.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
All I Want for Christmas...
So as I sat on a Saturday night completely alone (literally, I'm the only one in my house right now), I thought to myself, I'll update my blog. Wow, the joys of my life I tell you. Tonight I watched Kill Bill 1 and 2, by myself, because I knew that one of the characters spoke Cantonese.
So I'm trying not to be so Grinchy. I've turned up the Christmas tunes, gone to the temple, and thought about/told my mom what I want for Christmas. This year's Christmas list is pretty basic, but seriously needed.
1. A visit from Aunt Flo. She hasn't visited in over 10 months.
2. A new journal.
3. A new bra(s).
4. Some mints (I don't like chewing gum).
5. A job in Utah.
6. Lotion.
7. Some friends that can speak Cantonese (or friends in general at this point).
8. Health insurance.
9. Car insurance.
10. To pay off my parent's mortgage.
I love the holiday season, even though I pretend to be Jewish at work so people feel really bad when they talk about Christmas. My dad and I (more my dad because he's a control freak) have started reupholstering our couch. I think I already mentioned that. I've also been practicing my favorite Chinese piano song. It gives me goosebumps. I used to make the kids in Hong Kong play it for me all the time. I think if I have about 10 years more practice, I could play is like this:
So I'm trying not to be so Grinchy. I've turned up the Christmas tunes, gone to the temple, and thought about/told my mom what I want for Christmas. This year's Christmas list is pretty basic, but seriously needed.
1. A visit from Aunt Flo. She hasn't visited in over 10 months.
2. A new journal.
3. A new bra(s).
4. Some mints (I don't like chewing gum).
5. A job in Utah.
6. Lotion.
7. Some friends that can speak Cantonese (or friends in general at this point).
8. Health insurance.
9. Car insurance.
10. To pay off my parent's mortgage.
I love the holiday season, even though I pretend to be Jewish at work so people feel really bad when they talk about Christmas. My dad and I (more my dad because he's a control freak) have started reupholstering our couch. I think I already mentioned that. I've also been practicing my favorite Chinese piano song. It gives me goosebumps. I used to make the kids in Hong Kong play it for me all the time. I think if I have about 10 years more practice, I could play is like this: