This movie is a must see for anyone who has/wants to have kids and/or knows someone with a uterus. I gave it 5 stars on Netflix, and that is not something that happens very often.
http://youtu.be/4DgLf8hHMgo
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Cut it Off and Make Some Guacamole
Six months ago when I went to the dermatologist, he asked to take off a mole on my face. I wasn't ready to let go of it. So for the past 6 months I have been making my peace with my face and the mole. And today, I let go.
Apparently moles that sit in "bad places" can lead to being itchy. One this time sat "conveniently" in my fat roll.
I love my dermatologist because he's just as paranoid about moles as I am. I honestly leave his office chopped up, every time. This time I told him that I could still feel the scalpel even after he injected me deadener. He pumped it again with juice. From then on I just didn't tell him I could feel it, because it went faster if he didn't stop. I read somewhere earlier in the week that if you cough when you get a shot, it's supposed to make it not hurt. That's not true at all, I tried it today. I told that to the dermatologist as he looked at me funny when I coughed randomly. He said that he uses ice cubes to numb the area for kids and then they don't feel the shot. So he had his nurse grab an ice cube, and I looked really high maintenance to the two other assistants who came in the room to watch. If you are wondering, ice makes no difference on your face. But the best part was that I got him to re-promised me the next time I have to get stitches, I get to do them.
Please excuse the really creepy face I'm making in this photo. It's very had to take a selfie in the mirror when you are taking a picture of your eye. And no, I don't have a smart phone (it saves us $600 a year by not having one, not that I needed to defend myself).
So for those of you who don't know why I may choose to have a potentially cancerous mole on my face, please let me explain. My baby sister and I look a lot a like. A LOT alike.
We even have/had the exact same mole in the exact same place next to our right eye. Like, a freaking same mole in the same place.
So besides the fact my middle name is Ann and her first name is Annie, and we are pretty much the same person 8 years apart, I had to cut off a piece of myself that was yet another thing that connected us.
Not impressed? I had three other moles taken off. Two of which were in such inconvenient places for taking a photo, I didn't even bother. And the one on my belly, I couldn't get the camera to focus and not cast a shadow.
I love my dermatologist because he's just as paranoid about moles as I am. I honestly leave his office chopped up, every time. This time I told him that I could still feel the scalpel even after he injected me deadener. He pumped it again with juice. From then on I just didn't tell him I could feel it, because it went faster if he didn't stop. I read somewhere earlier in the week that if you cough when you get a shot, it's supposed to make it not hurt. That's not true at all, I tried it today. I told that to the dermatologist as he looked at me funny when I coughed randomly. He said that he uses ice cubes to numb the area for kids and then they don't feel the shot. So he had his nurse grab an ice cube, and I looked really high maintenance to the two other assistants who came in the room to watch. If you are wondering, ice makes no difference on your face. But the best part was that I got him to re-promised me the next time I have to get stitches, I get to do them.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Cops and TSA Wannabes
Every Friday night is date night. Except now that we are married and don't need to impress each other with witty stories and marathon nights, it usually just ends up being just dinner (at Carl's Jr., Smokehouse, Zupas, or Slab Pizza).
Last night I had the idea to go to dinner and then drive the Alpine Loop. Nate quickly shot me down because he had "too much homework". Once he realized my disappointment at the only idea I've had in months that I actually wanted to do, he stated "I bet it's not even open because of the shut down and the state parks...".
So I helped him with his homework, which included posting posters about the pro bono clinic UVU was sponsoring. We spent almost an hour on Friday night running around to the different government buildings.
The cherry on top was the last stop on our "tour". The fourth district court. When you walk in the door you are handed a plastic bin and told to put anything metal in it and walk through the metal detector. There were four (yes four) security guards standing at the metal detector watching us empty our pockets and walk through. I had already emptied my pockets and was taking my sweatshirt off (I think I've been to the airport too many times) before Nate had time to reach for the bin. As I'm walking towards the detector the cop holds up my keys by my pocket knife and says "Are you planning on bringing this with you?!". I responded "Yes" and kept walking. He said "You can't". I thought he was joking and stated "What am I going to do with it?! Stab someone." Nate picking up on the fact that I couldn't go in with it and that I wasn't understanding said "Yeah, you can't bring that in". I told the officer "Well, can you just hold it for me and I'll get it from you when I leave?". "No!" answered the guard. At this same time Nate pulled out a handful of thumb tacks he was using to put up the posters and asked "Am I ok to bring these in". The same guard said "Yeah, you're fine". I retorted "Seriously?! He can go in with those but I can't go in with my 1inch pocket knife? What are you the TSA or something?!". None of the officers were amused at my joke. Not even half smiles! The officer on the end wanted to know what Nate had that I thought was dangerous and when they replied "tacks", he said "Well if she thinks it's a threat, we shouldn't let him in either". Meanwhile it was 5 minutes until they closed.
I choose to remain by the door while Nate went in and posted the posters. Once he was out of sight the officer that refused to let me in said "I think someone came in here yesterday and already posted those." He then pointed to the wall where the poster we were trying to post was displayed. I asked "Was it a heavy set girl who came?" as Nate's new co-worker (and the one actually in charge of posting the posters and the only thing I know about her is that she is too large for a chair with arm rests so she had to trade for Nate's arm restless chair two days earlier). That question was the only time I got a smile out of the guards. "No she wasn't" was the reply. Nate came around the corner and said "Some one already posted them here" and I answered "I know."
It was such a romantic evening.
Last night I had the idea to go to dinner and then drive the Alpine Loop. Nate quickly shot me down because he had "too much homework". Once he realized my disappointment at the only idea I've had in months that I actually wanted to do, he stated "I bet it's not even open because of the shut down and the state parks...".
So I helped him with his homework, which included posting posters about the pro bono clinic UVU was sponsoring. We spent almost an hour on Friday night running around to the different government buildings.
The cherry on top was the last stop on our "tour". The fourth district court. When you walk in the door you are handed a plastic bin and told to put anything metal in it and walk through the metal detector. There were four (yes four) security guards standing at the metal detector watching us empty our pockets and walk through. I had already emptied my pockets and was taking my sweatshirt off (I think I've been to the airport too many times) before Nate had time to reach for the bin. As I'm walking towards the detector the cop holds up my keys by my pocket knife and says "Are you planning on bringing this with you?!". I responded "Yes" and kept walking. He said "You can't". I thought he was joking and stated "What am I going to do with it?! Stab someone." Nate picking up on the fact that I couldn't go in with it and that I wasn't understanding said "Yeah, you can't bring that in". I told the officer "Well, can you just hold it for me and I'll get it from you when I leave?". "No!" answered the guard. At this same time Nate pulled out a handful of thumb tacks he was using to put up the posters and asked "Am I ok to bring these in". The same guard said "Yeah, you're fine". I retorted "Seriously?! He can go in with those but I can't go in with my 1inch pocket knife? What are you the TSA or something?!". None of the officers were amused at my joke. Not even half smiles! The officer on the end wanted to know what Nate had that I thought was dangerous and when they replied "tacks", he said "Well if she thinks it's a threat, we shouldn't let him in either". Meanwhile it was 5 minutes until they closed.
I choose to remain by the door while Nate went in and posted the posters. Once he was out of sight the officer that refused to let me in said "I think someone came in here yesterday and already posted those." He then pointed to the wall where the poster we were trying to post was displayed. I asked "Was it a heavy set girl who came?" as Nate's new co-worker (and the one actually in charge of posting the posters and the only thing I know about her is that she is too large for a chair with arm rests so she had to trade for Nate's arm restless chair two days earlier). That question was the only time I got a smile out of the guards. "No she wasn't" was the reply. Nate came around the corner and said "Some one already posted them here" and I answered "I know."
It was such a romantic evening.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
OW
There's a movement among Mormon Feminists. It's called the Ordain Women Movement or OW. I've stayed quiet for a long time on this, but I know wish to express why I support the movement.
My father has changed for the better. When I was young, he thought and taught that women belonged in the kitchen. We were supposed to make dinner and clean up after. We were to clean the house while the boys did the yard work. Girls danced and boys played sports.
It pissed me off royally. I remember countless extended family dinners where my sister and I would be stuck washing the dishes while my brothers played nintendo. We would complain to our dad that we had peeled all the potatoes and now had to do dishes. I remember when my sister was allowed to go outside and pull weeds. I hurried with my house chores so I could pull them too. We gave up our ballet shoes for cleats and sneakers when our teacher moved to Florida (we tried another studio, but I cried the entire time because there were boys in my class).
I'm not sure if it was the constant complaining that I am just as good as a boy, or my constant aggressiveness towards showing my dad that I can do what any one else could, but my dad's opinion of me changed. I've been known to be the only girl helping take down chairs after meetings, often carrying 4 chairs and wearing high heels while other men carry one. My father made me be independent. When I was 16 he told me I wasn't allowed to come home without a job. When my car would break, he would stand next to me and teach me how to fix things.
I remember being in my awkward phase (which unfortunately lasted for WAY TOO LONG!), sitting in the church pew angry as a turkey that I wasn't allowed to pass the sacrament. Why were the boys allowed to do something I wasn't?! No one had a good enough answer, but I trusted in the "women are to be mothers" philosophy the church taught.
I held tightly to this idea, until 2011 when my OBGYN told me I wouldn't be able to have kids without medical assistance. I did what any normal person would do, I acted like nothing was wrong as my OBGYN tried to console me. I told her I had complete faith in medicine and she looked concerned at my lack of concern. And then, once safely in the car, I cried like a baby. And then I called my mom. She didn't answer. So I called my bestie. She didn't answer. So I went to the temple. I bawled the entire time and the lady in front of my probably thought I had just lost my parents. I finally got a hold of my mom and she did not believe my doctor. She demanded another opinion. So I consulted another OBGYN who told me not only would I be not be able to have children on my own, but if I went off birth control my chances for uterine cancer increased exponentially. Thanks mom, I really needed cancer added on to all of this.
So why the tears? My whole life I had trusted in the fact my entire purpose relied on the idea that I was meant to be a mother. Now I must digress, I've always wanted to adopt, but when you are taught from the womb your PURPOSE is to pop out more things like you, it takes a toll. It made me feel broken. I felt obligated to tell those I seriously dated that I was dysfunctional. And it may be the people I dated, but it wasn't always well received. So what was my purpose now?
Now don't give that "it takes a village" BS. I've made a career of connecting with people with special needs. I have had callings in nursery (which is a great form of birth control by the way). But it isn't enough to fill the 'purpose' I am supposed to have. Don't give me that "next life" shenanigans either. The fact I may be blessed in another life does not help the fact I can't fulfill the purpose I am supposed to fill right now.
The gender roles supported by the LDS church are not equal, obviously. I'm not looking for equality, I'm not looking for fairness. I'm looking for a better purpose. Women who never get married, those who can't have kids, and all those with other "issues" are indoctrinated to feel worthless. Now you may argue differently, but may I ask "Have you ever been in this situation? How did you get out of the situation? And because you're no longer in the situation, can you really objectively argue differently?"
Many, myself included, argue that "Blacks" and the priesthood is on the similar level that women and the priesthood are. The revelation of 1979 came only after much publicity, pressure, and protesting. Did you know that people picketed and boycotted BYU games? Am I implying that the revelation wasn't from God? In part yes. I think it came from God but I think the political pressure played a greater role in the timing than most are likely to admit. Just like the pressure from the government and social society preceded the end of polygamy.
So why is no one picketing BYU games? I think it may be because women's issues aren't on the same playing field as civil rights. I also think the church has polarized itself. Too many are putting women's rights along with gay rights. I think all should have rights, but I'm not getting on this soap box right now.
Now I'm not burning my bras; heaven knows I need to lock and load the girls. I'm not even wearing pants to church, even though it would be a lot easier because I wouldn't have to shave my legs (which I usually don't anyways). What I want people to get from this, is to understand the background and not just the stance.
The idea that virtue is tied to whether a person has worth teaches people that if they make a mistake or if they have been abused, they are worthless. The idea that your purpose is tied to your ability to have children, is flawed and perpetrates the idea of worthlessness. I should not be defined by what comes out of my uterus, because that would make me a bloody mess right now.
I believe there needs to be a change. I don't know if women having the Priesthood is the best option, but I think movement is better than the stagnant worthlessness the church is currently teaching.
My father has changed for the better. When I was young, he thought and taught that women belonged in the kitchen. We were supposed to make dinner and clean up after. We were to clean the house while the boys did the yard work. Girls danced and boys played sports.
It pissed me off royally. I remember countless extended family dinners where my sister and I would be stuck washing the dishes while my brothers played nintendo. We would complain to our dad that we had peeled all the potatoes and now had to do dishes. I remember when my sister was allowed to go outside and pull weeds. I hurried with my house chores so I could pull them too. We gave up our ballet shoes for cleats and sneakers when our teacher moved to Florida (we tried another studio, but I cried the entire time because there were boys in my class).
I'm not sure if it was the constant complaining that I am just as good as a boy, or my constant aggressiveness towards showing my dad that I can do what any one else could, but my dad's opinion of me changed. I've been known to be the only girl helping take down chairs after meetings, often carrying 4 chairs and wearing high heels while other men carry one. My father made me be independent. When I was 16 he told me I wasn't allowed to come home without a job. When my car would break, he would stand next to me and teach me how to fix things.
I remember being in my awkward phase (which unfortunately lasted for WAY TOO LONG!), sitting in the church pew angry as a turkey that I wasn't allowed to pass the sacrament. Why were the boys allowed to do something I wasn't?! No one had a good enough answer, but I trusted in the "women are to be mothers" philosophy the church taught.
I held tightly to this idea, until 2011 when my OBGYN told me I wouldn't be able to have kids without medical assistance. I did what any normal person would do, I acted like nothing was wrong as my OBGYN tried to console me. I told her I had complete faith in medicine and she looked concerned at my lack of concern. And then, once safely in the car, I cried like a baby. And then I called my mom. She didn't answer. So I called my bestie. She didn't answer. So I went to the temple. I bawled the entire time and the lady in front of my probably thought I had just lost my parents. I finally got a hold of my mom and she did not believe my doctor. She demanded another opinion. So I consulted another OBGYN who told me not only would I be not be able to have children on my own, but if I went off birth control my chances for uterine cancer increased exponentially. Thanks mom, I really needed cancer added on to all of this.
So why the tears? My whole life I had trusted in the fact my entire purpose relied on the idea that I was meant to be a mother. Now I must digress, I've always wanted to adopt, but when you are taught from the womb your PURPOSE is to pop out more things like you, it takes a toll. It made me feel broken. I felt obligated to tell those I seriously dated that I was dysfunctional. And it may be the people I dated, but it wasn't always well received. So what was my purpose now?
Now don't give that "it takes a village" BS. I've made a career of connecting with people with special needs. I have had callings in nursery (which is a great form of birth control by the way). But it isn't enough to fill the 'purpose' I am supposed to have. Don't give me that "next life" shenanigans either. The fact I may be blessed in another life does not help the fact I can't fulfill the purpose I am supposed to fill right now.
The gender roles supported by the LDS church are not equal, obviously. I'm not looking for equality, I'm not looking for fairness. I'm looking for a better purpose. Women who never get married, those who can't have kids, and all those with other "issues" are indoctrinated to feel worthless. Now you may argue differently, but may I ask "Have you ever been in this situation? How did you get out of the situation? And because you're no longer in the situation, can you really objectively argue differently?"
Many, myself included, argue that "Blacks" and the priesthood is on the similar level that women and the priesthood are. The revelation of 1979 came only after much publicity, pressure, and protesting. Did you know that people picketed and boycotted BYU games? Am I implying that the revelation wasn't from God? In part yes. I think it came from God but I think the political pressure played a greater role in the timing than most are likely to admit. Just like the pressure from the government and social society preceded the end of polygamy.
So why is no one picketing BYU games? I think it may be because women's issues aren't on the same playing field as civil rights. I also think the church has polarized itself. Too many are putting women's rights along with gay rights. I think all should have rights, but I'm not getting on this soap box right now.
Now I'm not burning my bras; heaven knows I need to lock and load the girls. I'm not even wearing pants to church, even though it would be a lot easier because I wouldn't have to shave my legs (which I usually don't anyways). What I want people to get from this, is to understand the background and not just the stance.
The idea that virtue is tied to whether a person has worth teaches people that if they make a mistake or if they have been abused, they are worthless. The idea that your purpose is tied to your ability to have children, is flawed and perpetrates the idea of worthlessness. I should not be defined by what comes out of my uterus, because that would make me a bloody mess right now.
I believe there needs to be a change. I don't know if women having the Priesthood is the best option, but I think movement is better than the stagnant worthlessness the church is currently teaching.
Friday, October 4, 2013
So Bring on the Rain
I remember a few years back one of Young Women's leaders made a comment about how she wants to move back to Utah because they actually have seasons there. I believe I told her she was crazy and Jess told her to move back to Utah, or maybe it was the other way around.
So for all of you who thinks Utah has seasons, you are wrong, and here is proof:
Notice there are a few leaves that are changing colors, but NOTHING like Washington. However, the reality of the situation is the fact there is snow on Oct 4.
October is a month for fall in the northern hemisphere. And snow is for winter. Looks like Utah once again missed fall.
So for all of you who thinks Utah has seasons, you are wrong, and here is proof:
Notice there are a few leaves that are changing colors, but NOTHING like Washington. However, the reality of the situation is the fact there is snow on Oct 4.
October is a month for fall in the northern hemisphere. And snow is for winter. Looks like Utah once again missed fall.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Show Me Your Teeth
A couple of weeks ago, I went in for my routine dentist checkup and I was told I needed six fillings. 6. But don't worry, I haven't been going crazy with the candy. Apparently, my teeth are too cavernous; my ridges too deep.
Now if you're like me, you'll think that's just a bunch of crap made up to get money out of someone. But this is the 3rd dentist who has told me this. So I did what any self-respecting person with insurance would do, and I scheduled to have them all filled at once.
When I showed up for my appointment I was told that they only had time to fill four of them that day. Why was this an issue? Now I had to go back again instead of sleeping in my next day off and by sleeping in I mean at least 10:00 am. We went ahead and they numbed the entire left side of my face (I have to have the block numbing because the localized Novocain doesn't work for me).
The doctor walked in and started talking to his assistance about the root canal he was working on the in other room. The young boy's tonsils were so swollen they were worried his airway was going to close. He sat down next to me and I said "You don't have to worry, I don't have tonsils". He was amazed to find out that I had mine removed when I was five.
He finished all four within 20 minutes. I walked out of the office to pay my co-pay and I was hit with a $250.00 bill. You read that right. I nonchalantly asked "So my insurance didn't cover any of it?" as not to appear poor. "Oh no," said the male receptionist who doesn't know he's gay "your insurance will only cover the cost of the metal fillings and the $250 is the amount remaining to cover the rest for the white fillings."
Awesome.
Don't worry, I still have two more to fill and pay for.
Now if you're like me, you'll think that's just a bunch of crap made up to get money out of someone. But this is the 3rd dentist who has told me this. So I did what any self-respecting person with insurance would do, and I scheduled to have them all filled at once.
When I showed up for my appointment I was told that they only had time to fill four of them that day. Why was this an issue? Now I had to go back again instead of sleeping in my next day off and by sleeping in I mean at least 10:00 am. We went ahead and they numbed the entire left side of my face (I have to have the block numbing because the localized Novocain doesn't work for me).
The doctor walked in and started talking to his assistance about the root canal he was working on the in other room. The young boy's tonsils were so swollen they were worried his airway was going to close. He sat down next to me and I said "You don't have to worry, I don't have tonsils". He was amazed to find out that I had mine removed when I was five.
He finished all four within 20 minutes. I walked out of the office to pay my co-pay and I was hit with a $250.00 bill. You read that right. I nonchalantly asked "So my insurance didn't cover any of it?" as not to appear poor. "Oh no," said the male receptionist who doesn't know he's gay "your insurance will only cover the cost of the metal fillings and the $250 is the amount remaining to cover the rest for the white fillings."
Awesome.
Don't worry, I still have two more to fill and pay for.