Ok, this blog post goes out to the one and truly Emily Lloyd, because she made a special request.
There really isn't anything in my life going on that is blog worthy, well actually there is, but I don't want to post anything about it until it is final (3 weeks hold your horses Emily). I promise if you have patience, then I will update you.
But for now you are stuck with the boring status of my life. I am still not allowed to play contact sports, but it's not because my doctor is worried about my spleen, but rather my liver is tender and the fluids are now backing up into my spleen. We found this out when I was getting a physical and he pressed on my liver and I pretty much seized, and let out a groan. He stated "Did that make you nauseous?" and I replied "No, it just didn't make me feel very good." Yes, I am very articulate.
It's been really fun, I mean, I've realized that my body wants to be pregnant, because it just keeps packing on the weight, and I can't really do anything to work it off, so my all-you-can-eat diet has been really successful.
I am still single, and accepting the fact that I may be a spinster with nine cats, which won't be that bad if I don't work at the State Hospital the rest of my life and actually make money.
Recently, I've had this crazy desire to run away to France, which is really weird because I've always hated the French and have blamed them for my problems. Also, I don't speak French, so that's also a problem. Jessica, if I do go, I will send you post cards with all my love.
But I really think being a Gypsy would be the ultimate career/lifestyle. I mean, you can pick up and move whenever you want. You steal from the rich and give to the poor (yourself). You set fashion trends. And you can wear bangles 24/7.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
I kissed a girl and I liked it, apparently.
So this past month I went to my doctor because I haven't been sleeping. At the beginning of the appointment, I could tell he thought I was being a hypochondriac, but after talking about my life stressors, he thought I was severely depressed. Let me just tell you, that if you ever want to get depressed, think critically about your life stressors and discuss them with someone who doesn't know you well (The big life stressors include: school, finances, careers, and relationships). When he started asking me questions like "Have you ever thought about hurting yourself, or wanted to end it all", I knew what he was getting at. I started laughing, and I tried to persuade him that I wasn't depressed, because I'M NOT! I was able to get it through to him, that I have severe anxiety not depression. So, he tried me on Trazidone, an anti-depressant that when used in small dosages only has the effect of drowsiness. It did not work. He also tested my blood for everything that could possibly make me tired. Including HIV, thyroid problems, and mononucleosis (and because BYU doesn't bill private insurance, it cost me $300). He told me to check back in with him in a few weeks.
So this past week, I had an appointment. I brought along Katie Cullen for the adventure. When they were weighing me, I asked to see how tall I was. The nurse/CNA told me that I was 5'7". I said "WHAT?!" and she acted like nothing had happened. She then saw that on the computer it was written that I was 5'10", so she wanted to check me again. This time I was 5'9". Now this might not seem like news to you, but when you've been told your whole life you're 5'10" and then one day someone tells you you're an inch shorter (on the same day you had been studying self-esteem in your adolescent development class, and realized your self-image isn't fully developed until you're an adult), you will be mortified. It was like someone had told me that I was adopted. Katie acted as if nothing was wrong. She didn't understand the severe trauma this had caused me.
Then the doctor came in and told me that I was not HIV positive (hallelujah). He told me I was positive for mono (I could have told you that without the $40 test). He then told me I shouldn't play basketball anymore. This was another crushing moment for me, because I am on an intramural team that is basically my life. He told me that if I continued to play, I had a high risk of rupturing my spleen and also relapsing into a worse sickness that would take longer for me to recover. I then told him the medication he had me on didn't work and he stated "Have you ever heard of Ambien?" and I said "Yes that's for crazy people". And he said "Well, we're going to put you on that, and see how that works". Basically, for those of you who don't know about Ambien, if you aren't crazy to begin with, you'll become crazy. People who take it do not remember anything that happens after a half-an-hour after taking it. People can hallucinate with it, sleep walk, sleep eat, and can become hyper sexual. Also, if you force yourself to stay up after you take it, you will become high. So I have to be locked in my room when I take it.
My doctor then told me that I needed to prevent spreading the virus. He said "So no sharing drinks" I interrupted with "Not a problem, I don't share anything anyway. I'm a germaphob". He then continued and said "And no kissing boys", he then paused, turned and looked at me and said "or girls for that matter".
So basically, my doctor thinks I'm a lesbian and now I'm turning into one of my patients.
So this past week, I had an appointment. I brought along Katie Cullen for the adventure. When they were weighing me, I asked to see how tall I was. The nurse/CNA told me that I was 5'7". I said "WHAT?!" and she acted like nothing had happened. She then saw that on the computer it was written that I was 5'10", so she wanted to check me again. This time I was 5'9". Now this might not seem like news to you, but when you've been told your whole life you're 5'10" and then one day someone tells you you're an inch shorter (on the same day you had been studying self-esteem in your adolescent development class, and realized your self-image isn't fully developed until you're an adult), you will be mortified. It was like someone had told me that I was adopted. Katie acted as if nothing was wrong. She didn't understand the severe trauma this had caused me.
Then the doctor came in and told me that I was not HIV positive (hallelujah). He told me I was positive for mono (I could have told you that without the $40 test). He then told me I shouldn't play basketball anymore. This was another crushing moment for me, because I am on an intramural team that is basically my life. He told me that if I continued to play, I had a high risk of rupturing my spleen and also relapsing into a worse sickness that would take longer for me to recover. I then told him the medication he had me on didn't work and he stated "Have you ever heard of Ambien?" and I said "Yes that's for crazy people". And he said "Well, we're going to put you on that, and see how that works". Basically, for those of you who don't know about Ambien, if you aren't crazy to begin with, you'll become crazy. People who take it do not remember anything that happens after a half-an-hour after taking it. People can hallucinate with it, sleep walk, sleep eat, and can become hyper sexual. Also, if you force yourself to stay up after you take it, you will become high. So I have to be locked in my room when I take it.
My doctor then told me that I needed to prevent spreading the virus. He said "So no sharing drinks" I interrupted with "Not a problem, I don't share anything anyway. I'm a germaphob". He then continued and said "And no kissing boys", he then paused, turned and looked at me and said "or girls for that matter".
So basically, my doctor thinks I'm a lesbian and now I'm turning into one of my patients.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
The Fifth Avenue
This is what a Chrysler Fifth Avenue looks like:
Let me tell you a little about my precious Chrysler Fifth Avenue. When it's cold, the engine will turn off if I let it idle. Meaning, that it I come to a full stop for too long (IE. about 10 seconds), the engine will shut off. I've learned that if you keep the gas and the break on, you can avoid the engine failure, but when there's snow + ice, there's no hope. Plus the windshield wipers only work when they want to. Also, I can no longer take my car on the freeway, because every time I do, the day after something goes horribly wrong with the car and I have to take it to the shop. My mechanic's name is Frank, and he's the best mechanic/most honest man I think I'm ever met (if he wasn't 50 and married, I would totally date him). If you need a mechanic, please, go see Frank. He basically knows me by name, well he knows when I say "Chrysler Fifth Avenue", that I mean business.
I think I want to write a book called "The Adventures in the Fifth Avenue", because my car is basically out of control, and I have so many stories. Maybe that's what I'll do after graduation.
Let me tell you a little about my precious Chrysler Fifth Avenue. When it's cold, the engine will turn off if I let it idle. Meaning, that it I come to a full stop for too long (IE. about 10 seconds), the engine will shut off. I've learned that if you keep the gas and the break on, you can avoid the engine failure, but when there's snow + ice, there's no hope. Plus the windshield wipers only work when they want to. Also, I can no longer take my car on the freeway, because every time I do, the day after something goes horribly wrong with the car and I have to take it to the shop. My mechanic's name is Frank, and he's the best mechanic/most honest man I think I'm ever met (if he wasn't 50 and married, I would totally date him). If you need a mechanic, please, go see Frank. He basically knows me by name, well he knows when I say "Chrysler Fifth Avenue", that I mean business.
I think I want to write a book called "The Adventures in the Fifth Avenue", because my car is basically out of control, and I have so many stories. Maybe that's what I'll do after graduation.
Ice Capades
So I was walking on campus, minding my own business, when I approached this set of stairs. The stairs were covered in packed snow and were every slick. As I was setting my foot upon the top stair, I told myself, "Whitney, you are going to fall on these stairs". So I tried turning my already placed foot sideways, so that if I slipped, it would slip on the stair and not down the whole flight. Sure enough, in the process, I lost my footing and slipped. I fell hard, and hit every single stair on the way down the flight.
I think the best part about the whole thing was that I was surrounded by people who acted like nothing had just happened (or maybe it was the giant bruise I got because of it?). Of course I was laughing hysterically throughout the whole event (which seemed to last over 5 minutes). When I initially started laughing, the girl who was walking in front of me, turned around and glared at me, as if you say "you idiot". I managed to say "I knew that was going to happen". But she didn't care, and she and her friend kept walking in front of me extremely slowly and took up the entire icy sidewalk so I could not pass.
On the way home I was just smiling about how great my life is. I mean: I'm 21, I'm single, I'm graduating from BYU with no plans for the future, I drive a Chrysler Fifth Avenue (if you do not know what this is please google it and have a great laugh), and I work in a forensic unit at the State Hospital. I was also laughing on my way home, which made me think the people around me probably thought I was laughing at the voices in my head.
I think the best part about the whole thing was that I was surrounded by people who acted like nothing had just happened (or maybe it was the giant bruise I got because of it?). Of course I was laughing hysterically throughout the whole event (which seemed to last over 5 minutes). When I initially started laughing, the girl who was walking in front of me, turned around and glared at me, as if you say "you idiot". I managed to say "I knew that was going to happen". But she didn't care, and she and her friend kept walking in front of me extremely slowly and took up the entire icy sidewalk so I could not pass.
On the way home I was just smiling about how great my life is. I mean: I'm 21, I'm single, I'm graduating from BYU with no plans for the future, I drive a Chrysler Fifth Avenue (if you do not know what this is please google it and have a great laugh), and I work in a forensic unit at the State Hospital. I was also laughing on my way home, which made me think the people around me probably thought I was laughing at the voices in my head.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
This is Serious
I need something. Anything. Because despite what I've been telling myself for the past three weeks, sitting and staring at walls is getting old.
I have absolutely no idea what to do with my life. I just want to get out of Provo. This need to flee the coop has been steadily increasing, and when I read Katie Cullen's blog about the possibility of going on a cruise, I realized: THIS IS SERIOUS!
Please, please, please give me ideas for vacations, jobs, and/or lifestyle changes that you would think I would be capable of doing.
Thank you.
I have absolutely no idea what to do with my life. I just want to get out of Provo. This need to flee the coop has been steadily increasing, and when I read Katie Cullen's blog about the possibility of going on a cruise, I realized: THIS IS SERIOUS!
Please, please, please give me ideas for vacations, jobs, and/or lifestyle changes that you would think I would be capable of doing.
Thank you.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
The Woes of Womanhood
Welcome to the hormone train that I call my life. I have been really sick this past week and I'm about to start surfing the crimson tide next week, so basically I'm emotionally and physically out of control.
Not that I am typically a nice person, but you should really try to stay out of my way. I'm sleep deprived and very stressed. These two states of being have also contributed to the fact that I can't go to the gym, and thus I have no emotional outlet and led to further weight gain. Katie Cullen has taken over the position as my therapist as well as personal trainer, so I should be doing better soon.
I spent Hallow's Eve at the State Hospital in a Forensic Unit. It wasn't as fun as it sounds, but I did get a lot of homework done. I actually found out the hospital still has prison jumpsuits and I really wanted to wear one for Halloween, but I was informed that I would be fired if administration found out that I had been wearing one, and I am really poor, so I need my job (even though I will act like I don't). Can you imagine me in a prison jumpsuit with "USH Forensic Unit 2" on the back? I know, it would be the best thing you've ever seen.
Work and school are basically my life.
This brings me to another update. I am no longer single. Details will follow, if, and only if, I ever get a ring put on my finger. Being the superstitious person that I am, I will not put into writing this relationship, because then it is doomed.
Life is crazy, full of headaches and emotional breakdowns. But I'm just going to keep on keeping on.
Not that I am typically a nice person, but you should really try to stay out of my way. I'm sleep deprived and very stressed. These two states of being have also contributed to the fact that I can't go to the gym, and thus I have no emotional outlet and led to further weight gain. Katie Cullen has taken over the position as my therapist as well as personal trainer, so I should be doing better soon.
I spent Hallow's Eve at the State Hospital in a Forensic Unit. It wasn't as fun as it sounds, but I did get a lot of homework done. I actually found out the hospital still has prison jumpsuits and I really wanted to wear one for Halloween, but I was informed that I would be fired if administration found out that I had been wearing one, and I am really poor, so I need my job (even though I will act like I don't). Can you imagine me in a prison jumpsuit with "USH Forensic Unit 2" on the back? I know, it would be the best thing you've ever seen.
Work and school are basically my life.
This brings me to another update. I am no longer single. Details will follow, if, and only if, I ever get a ring put on my finger. Being the superstitious person that I am, I will not put into writing this relationship, because then it is doomed.
Life is crazy, full of headaches and emotional breakdowns. But I'm just going to keep on keeping on.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Facsimile of a Sham
Well, I know you all are waiting in anticipation for news on my life.
Here's the gist: I'm 21 years old, I'm graduating from BYU with a BA in psychology in April (clinical and social) and a minor in MFHD, I have no idea what I'm going to do with my degree, and I'm single.
Things I still love: chocolate, Romania, mail, cruises, sitting and staring at walls, and laughing.
Things I still don't like: Talking about the current state of my life, dieting, running, my panic/anxiety attacks, and not fitting into my favorite pair of jeans.
Here's the gist: I'm 21 years old, I'm graduating from BYU with a BA in psychology in April (clinical and social) and a minor in MFHD, I have no idea what I'm going to do with my degree, and I'm single.
Things I still love: chocolate, Romania, mail, cruises, sitting and staring at walls, and laughing.
Things I still don't like: Talking about the current state of my life, dieting, running, my panic/anxiety attacks, and not fitting into my favorite pair of jeans.