Oochie Wa Wa

So today I experienced a Brazilian wax for the first time. Not as awkward as I thought it was going to be, I mean sure I was half naked surrounded by four people looking at my cauch, but I didn't feel awkward at all. And the girl who waxed me was from my freshman ward, yes, Provo is that small. If you need a Brazilian wax, let me just recommend the place I went, very classy. It wasn't a dark alleyway like I thought it was going to be.

This wax is a continuation of a year in which I am doing things that terrify me. I have now eaten every part of a lamb, donated blood, waxed my cauch, and tomorrow I am going to donate plasma (well hopefully I will if I can get my pulse rate low enough). My list continues as I realize what terrifies me and I continue to do it. If you have any suggestions, just let me know.

Trying but Failing at Being a Good Samaritan

So, my calling in church is "emergency preparedness co-chair". Basically I am in charge of letting the ward know where to go in case of an emergency. I also am in charge of all the food drives and blood drives. Well, today marked the second time our ward/stake had a blood drive. Last semester was the first time I had ever donated blood. Minus the minor freakout I had where my body went into convulsion shaking, it went all right. Then the American Red Cross kept sending me all of this propaganda about how only 25% of first time blood donors ever donate again, and basically made me feel like a horrible person for keeping all of this clean (minus living in Eastern Europe, mononucleosis, and the occasionally drug use) blood inside of me. So I decided out of the pureness of my guilt-ridden heart to donate for a second time, just to beat the statistics. Anyways, so I woke up early today (10:00am) in order to make it to my appointment at 12:15. I get all the way up there (on campus) and go through the whole screening process. On the outside (and I thought on the inside) I was calm and collected. I passed the blood pressure and iron scan with flying colors. Then all of a sudden the lady told me to take deep breaths. She kept telling me to do this, and I was like "What?! OK." Then she told me that my pulse was too high to donate blood and that I needed to find my 'happy place' and keep breathing deeply. 5 minutes (5 actual minutes) of namaste breathing later, and my pulse was still way too high. It has to be under 100, which is what most people's are when they are exercising heavily, but mine even after the "cool down" process was still 106. She then told me that I was not able to donate blood today. You may be asking, why was your pulse so high? Because I was panicking, and hate needles going into my flesh. My mom told me "Well at least you didn't yell at the lady like you used to. It's kind of funny how you used to say 'get away from me lady' and now they are telling you to go away." Yes, I used to yell at nurses, but let me just tell you I have had ALL of my shots that you get throughout your life, three times (yes three) because we switched doctors so many times they lost my records twice. Anyways, the whole ordeal wasn't such a bust because she told me that I could still get snacks from the snack table. I went over and saw the glorious Famous Amos cookies and was content. But, there were people all around the table and they were all staring at me. It was one of those awkward moments where you have to say something, and I said "Well I can't donate blood, but they said I can get refreshments anyways." There was an awkward silence and everyone was staring at me, so I grabbed myself a bag of Famous Amos and said "I don't have AIDs I promise" and left.

Well, I killed two birds with one stone, I didn't have to donate blood, and I still got some cookies.

FYI

I would just like to inform everyone, that if you for some reason see someone with wrist-to-waist handcuffs being escorted by two regularly dressed individuals, it is STILL not polite to stare. I had to take one of my patients to the emergency room last night and everyone just sat there staring at us. Not just the little side stares you give when you want to see what's going on, no, it was the full-on stop-conversation-so-there-is-silence-when-you-walk-by, turn-and-look-with-a-gaping-mouth-stare. I wanted to say "What? You've never seen someone handcuffed before?!" Now, I can understand the kids and the old people staring who were there, but you'd think the idiots who are in the ER on a Saturday night would have some manners. But then again, there are in the ER so they can't be too bright. But nonetheless my patients (usually) do not stare at you, so therefore, do not stare at them.

Thank you.

Hanging Loose; My Going Topless Experience

So, today in my Psychology of Gender class, 40 minutes until we were allowed to leave, I got this strange feeling I wasn't wearing a bra. I thought "This is weird". But I specifically remembered putting my bra back on after my basketball class. So I sat, and tried to pay attention to the lecture. But I kept feeling more and more like I wasn't wearing a bra. Then I started second guessing myself thinking "maybe I didn't put my bra back on". So, I reached in my shirt to feel my brastrap. It was there, but really loose. I didn't think much of it, and told myself "see you are wearing a bra". Well, this strange feeling didn't go away, so I decided to scratch my back, and conviently check for my bra. To my suprise, there was no bra strap on my back. Somehow, it had come undone. Then I started to think, "did the people behind me undo my bra?", "No Whitney, how could they do that?!". Anyways, so by this time we still had 30 minutes left. So I sat there thinking "This is kind of nice, maybe I should go braless more often." But then I remembered a conversation I had with Jessica Balkman yesturday about how if you don't wear a bra your boobs will sag to your bellybutton when you are old. And I also remembered I had a test I had to take. So I began thinking of ways to get my bra back on. I was so consumed with thoughts of putting my bra back on, that I probably should have just gone right then to the bathroom, but I stayed in the class thinking "would it be so bad if I just put it back on while I was sitting here?" Then taking note of the married, very conservative guy next to me, I thought it might not be appropriate. Class ended and I went and put my bra back on. I still do not know how this all happened. I originally thought that it had broken, but when I put it back on all the hooks were in place. Anyways, through all of this I have realized that I have never set a bra on fire, and I've always wanted to do it.

Burning a bra is my next goal in life.

Paste Fericit

Isus Hristos a inviat! Adevarat a inviat! Well, I started Easter off calling my family. I talked to my grandma and my mom. I ate half a bag of minature Reese's peanut butter cups and a half a bag of speck-tacular peanut butter M&Ms which were delicious, and my favorite color (an aqua blue). Then I went to church. I came home and made myself some chicken that tasted horrible. Then I made brownies. I ate the brownies with Dreyer's thin mint Girl Scout cookie icecream (don't worry the icecream was on sale for cheaper than a box of Girl Scout Cookies) and watched Tim Burton's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and the first half of "The Sound of Music". I then ate the chocolate bunny I had salvaged from Walmart. This bunny was the saddest bunny you have ever seen. It's ears were broken, and it was the only one left. They gave me a 10 cent discount, so I just had to buy it. Well, I ate it, and it was the worst tasting chocolate I have ever tasted. Worse than Romanian chocolate (for those of you who haven't eaten Romanian chocolate, it's really, really bad). You would think since it was so bad that I would stop eating it, but I didn't. I ate the whole thing, and hated every minute of it. Then, when I was brushing my teeth Jessica goes to me "Whitney, you know you have chocolate all over your back right?!" Yes, I had chocolate all over my brand new white shirt (and by brand new I mean the second time I had worn it). Not to mention it was all over the couch. So, today for the first time I used a Tide pen, which was awesome. I don't know how well it worked, but it was fun to use. I'll find out tomorrow when the laundry is done. But thank you Jessica Balkman for noticing the chocolate, and being prepared with a Tide pen. Today, I also sat reminiscing about last year, and how I was in Romania and attended midnight mass. And how you light your candle at Mass and walk it home, and it is supposed to give you good luck (if you make it all the way home). Then I remembered how I got all the way to the elevator of my bloc (that's Romanian for apartment complex), and was frantically trying to converse with some of my neighbors, that in the midst of it all, my candle blew out. So this year is supposed to be more lucky than last. We'll just have to wait and see. What a great Easter.

Paste Fericit!

Basketball 2

So last night, my roommates took me to the Sonics game for my birthday. It was the best birthday present ever! We drove up to Salt Lake, stopped at McDonalds, and I realized that I have an internal compas for McDonalds, because I was able to get us there without ever being there before, and not having to turn around once. I made a special order to get a #7 with a hamburger bun instead of a club bun, because club buns are nasty. Let's just say: a special order + the drive through + a man that doesn't speak English = mass confusion. Once we figured everything out, and two reciepts later, we were able to 'enjoy' our meal. Needless to say, I will never be ordering a #7 again. Anyways, on to the game. The Energy Solutions Area is not the Key Arena. The televisions outside the arena are little 10" sony TVs straight out of 1992. Loved it. Let's just say the game between the Sonics and Jazz looked more like a WNBA game than a NBA game. I have never seen the ball go through that many legs in all of my years of watching NBA. Anyways, the highlights of the game included a sweet half-time show with a man who juggled balls onto a piano, and yes he was better juggling/playing the piano then I am just playing the piano. The best part of the experience was that Lil' Jon was there. Yes, I'm serious. It was awesome. Ye'ah! Ok!

Dominating in Basketball

So a few weeks ago, my roommates and I (and by my roommates and I, I mean me volunteering my roommates), auctioned off a game of basketball. Well, last night we played against the house that bought it at the service auction. Let me just say, we played on an outside court, with the kind of flooring that is on oldschool home basketball courts, you know the kind that doubles as a tennis court and basketball court, that is little squares connected together. Anyways, so not only did we have that, but the sun was in our eyes the whole time. Also, we were playing with a very slippery men's ball. With all this being said, let me also inform you, that Kira, my 5 ft tall roommate jumped the ball at the beginning. The other team won the jump, but I intercepted their pass, which ended up dislocating my thumb. Not knowing that it was dislocated, I pulled my finger to pop it, because that's what you do when you jam a finger to stop the swelling. It wasn't until later when I was thinking about it that I realized that I had reset my thumb. Anyways, with one hand out of the game, I was forced to play with only one hand. I would like to tell everyone at this time, that the other team was a house of 9 guys. We only had 4, but luckily Nate Lawler stepped in (we would have died without his skills). So they had 4 subs, and we had none. At half time, it was tied. I am serious. Second half started, and I'm pretty sure we were winning because their coach stopped keeping track of points, I mean who honestly stops keeping track of points unless you are losing? Plus I can't remember them actually scoring second half, and I know that I scored at least 3. Anyways, all I have to say is, never underestimate the power of the Richardson House's basketball skills. We may be a bunch of females (plus Nate), but we will still dominate you.