Ice Capades

So I was walking on campus, minding my own business, when I approached this set of stairs. The stairs were covered in packed snow and were every slick. As I was setting my foot upon the top stair, I told myself, "Whitney, you are going to fall on these stairs". So I tried turning my already placed foot sideways, so that if I slipped, it would slip on the stair and not down the whole flight. Sure enough, in the process, I lost my footing and slipped. I fell hard, and hit every single stair on the way down the flight.

I think the best part about the whole thing was that I was surrounded by people who acted like nothing had just happened (or maybe it was the giant bruise I got because of it?). Of course I was laughing hysterically throughout the whole event (which seemed to last over 5 minutes). When I initially started laughing, the girl who was walking in front of me, turned around and glared at me, as if you say "you idiot". I managed to say "I knew that was going to happen". But she didn't care, and she and her friend kept walking in front of me extremely slowly and took up the entire icy sidewalk so I could not pass.

On the way home I was just smiling about how great my life is. I mean: I'm 21, I'm single, I'm graduating from BYU with no plans for the future, I drive a Chrysler Fifth Avenue (if you do not know what this is please google it and have a great laugh), and I work in a forensic unit at the State Hospital. I was also laughing on my way home, which made me think the people around me probably thought I was laughing at the voices in my head.

This is Serious

I need something. Anything. Because despite what I've been telling myself for the past three weeks, sitting and staring at walls is getting old.

I have absolutely no idea what to do with my life. I just want to get out of Provo. This need to flee the coop has been steadily increasing, and when I read Katie Cullen's blog about the possibility of going on a cruise, I realized: THIS IS SERIOUS!

Please, please, please give me ideas for vacations, jobs, and/or lifestyle changes that you would think I would be capable of doing.

Thank you.

The Woes of Womanhood

Welcome to the hormone train that I call my life. I have been really sick this past week and I'm about to start surfing the crimson tide next week, so basically I'm emotionally and physically out of control.

Not that I am typically a nice person, but you should really try to stay out of my way. I'm sleep deprived and very stressed. These two states of being have also contributed to the fact that I can't go to the gym, and thus I have no emotional outlet and led to further weight gain. Katie Cullen has taken over the position as my therapist as well as personal trainer, so I should be doing better soon.

I spent Hallow's Eve at the State Hospital in a Forensic Unit. It wasn't as fun as it sounds, but I did get a lot of homework done. I actually found out the hospital still has prison jumpsuits and I really wanted to wear one for Halloween, but I was informed that I would be fired if administration found out that I had been wearing one, and I am really poor, so I need my job (even though I will act like I don't). Can you imagine me in a prison jumpsuit with "USH Forensic Unit 2" on the back? I know, it would be the best thing you've ever seen.

Work and school are basically my life.

This brings me to another update. I am no longer single. Details will follow, if, and only if, I ever get a ring put on my finger. Being the superstitious person that I am, I will not put into writing this relationship, because then it is doomed.

Life is crazy, full of headaches and emotional breakdowns. But I'm just going to keep on keeping on.

Facsimile of a Sham

Well, I know you all are waiting in anticipation for news on my life.

Here's the gist: I'm 21 years old, I'm graduating from BYU with a BA in psychology in April (clinical and social) and a minor in MFHD, I have no idea what I'm going to do with my degree, and I'm single.

Things I still love: chocolate, Romania, mail, cruises, sitting and staring at walls, and laughing.

Things I still don't like: Talking about the current state of my life, dieting, running, my panic/anxiety attacks, and not fitting into my favorite pair of jeans.

Grease Fires and Finals

Today I almost burnt down my house for the second time. The first time was when I was making popcorn (no matter how enticing it may seem to mirror the picture on the package, do not. Three minutes is too long to cook popcorn, or so I've learned), but this time it was a grease fire. Yes that's right, I will make a horrible wife.

What happened: I was cooking a hamburger in the oven, and the grease caught fire, well there's more to it then that but that's the gist. I was hearing the normal sizzling sounds, when I went into the kitchen to check how much time was left. There was black smoke billowing out of the oven. Then I realized that my precious chunk of beef was aflame. So I did what any normal person would do and started laughing hysterically. I opened the oven and gave the flames a good blow, only to have the flames increase and literally reach for my face. Then through my continual repeating of "Are you serious?", "I'm going to make a horrible wife.", and more laughing, I collected myself, and closed the oven and turned it off. By that point, our nice, clean and white oven was now black. After about five minutes the fire went out, and I was able to enjoy my patty amidst the smell of barbecue and grease.

The update on my life is that I am on a one month sabbatical from work. I have finals this week meaning Wednesday (and no Jessie Cordell I am not going to actually study). And I will be going home for some well needed R&R on Friday.

True Life: I am Georgia Nicolson

So, I have found out that if I was to be a fictional character, I would be Georgia Nicolson. If you haven't read any books from her series, you should. It is basically the diary of a 14-year-old British bird, and basically it is the story of my life (had I grown up in England). And basically we have merged personalities, so I now use about 100% of her vocabulary.

Update on my life. I still work at the State Hospital. I still love it, kind of. That's about it.

Why I Have to Get Married

For the past week or so I've had these random bug bites on my arms and legs. I jokingly told people that there was a spider in my bed. Then two nights ago, at 3:00am, I was reading in my bed, and out from under the comforter came a 50-cent-piece-sized spider, which was making a B-line straight for me. It wasn't a Wolfe spider with long legs, no, it was a fatty spider who was probably pregnant will millions of little spiders babies inside of it. Anyways, I have never moved that fast in my life. I jumped out of my bed and under my breath stated "Are you serious?!" because it was 3:00 in the morning and I was being attacked by a spider. So I frantically searched for a flip flop. Once I found one (I was a little disoriented), I had to search through my blankets for this mammoth of a spider. I couldn't get it near the wall to smash it, so I had to go get toilet paper to smash it. It made a huge crunch sound and I debated whether to throw the smashed spider in the trash or in the toilet, I mean what if I didn't smash it all the way and it crawled back into my room? "Whitney, your crazy" is what I told myself and put it in the trash.

As I returned to my bed, I did the cockroach shake to everything on my bed (for those of you who do not know what the cockroach shake is, it is the shaking out of all your bedding every night before you go to bed. I learned how to do it in Romania from Candice Cheney Carter). Anyways, so I was fuming about having to smash this spider. Basically my plan to live with Katie Cullen for the rest of my life went down the drain because Katie is the type to catch and release the spiders. That won't do. They need to die. I realized then that I have to get married so I don't have to deal with spiders anymore. You see, for the past few months I have been considering the single life. I guess this is God's way of saying I need to date.

Lessons Learned:
I can't be single for the rest of my life.
One of my dating credentials is that you must be ok with or act like you're ok with killing spiders.