OW

There's a movement among Mormon Feminists. It's called the Ordain Women Movement or OW. I've stayed quiet for a long time on this, but I know wish to express why I support the movement.

My father has changed for the better. When I was young, he thought and taught that women belonged in the kitchen. We were supposed to make dinner and clean up after. We were to clean the house while the boys did the yard work. Girls danced and boys played sports.

It pissed me off royally. I remember countless extended family dinners where my sister and I would be stuck washing the dishes while my brothers played nintendo. We would complain to our dad that we had peeled all the potatoes and now had to do dishes. I remember when my sister was allowed to go outside and pull weeds. I hurried with my house chores so I could pull them too. We gave up our ballet shoes for cleats and sneakers when our teacher moved to Florida (we tried another studio, but I cried the entire time because there were boys in my class).

I'm not sure if it was the constant complaining that I am just as good as a boy, or my constant aggressiveness towards showing my dad that I can do what any one else could, but my dad's opinion of me changed. I've been known to be the only girl helping take down chairs after meetings, often carrying 4 chairs and wearing high heels while other men carry one. My father made me be independent. When I was 16 he told me I wasn't allowed to come home without a job. When my car would break, he would stand next to me and teach me how to fix things.

I remember being in my awkward phase (which unfortunately lasted for WAY TOO LONG!), sitting in the church pew angry as a turkey that I wasn't allowed to pass the sacrament. Why were the boys allowed to do something I wasn't?! No one had a good enough answer, but I trusted in the "women are to be mothers" philosophy the church taught.

I held tightly to this idea, until 2011 when my OBGYN told me I wouldn't be able to have kids without medical assistance. I did what any normal person would do, I acted like nothing was wrong as my OBGYN tried to console me. I told her I had complete faith in medicine and she looked concerned at my lack of concern. And then, once safely in the car, I cried like a baby. And then I called my mom. She didn't answer. So I called my bestie. She didn't answer. So I went to the temple. I bawled the entire time and the lady in front of my probably thought I had just lost my parents. I finally got a hold of my mom and she did not believe my doctor. She demanded another opinion. So I consulted another OBGYN who told me not only would I be not be able to have children on my own, but if I went off birth control my chances for uterine cancer increased exponentially. Thanks mom, I really needed cancer added on to all of this.

So why the tears? My whole life I had trusted in the fact my entire purpose relied on the idea that I was meant to be a mother. Now I must digress, I've always wanted to adopt, but when you are taught from the womb your PURPOSE is to pop out more things like you, it takes a toll. It made me feel broken. I felt obligated to tell those I seriously dated that I was dysfunctional. And it may be the people I dated, but it wasn't always well received. So what was my purpose now?

Now don't give that "it takes a village" BS. I've made a career of connecting with people with special needs. I have had callings in nursery (which is a great form of birth control by the way). But it isn't enough to fill the 'purpose' I am supposed to have. Don't give me that "next life" shenanigans either. The fact I may be blessed in another life does not help the fact I can't fulfill the purpose I am supposed to fill right now.

The gender roles supported by the LDS church are not equal, obviously. I'm not looking for equality, I'm not looking for fairness. I'm looking for a better purpose. Women who never get married, those who can't have kids, and all those with other "issues" are indoctrinated to feel worthless. Now you may argue differently, but may I ask "Have you ever been in this situation? How did you get out of the situation? And because you're no longer in the situation, can you really objectively argue differently?"

Many, myself included, argue that "Blacks" and the priesthood is on the similar level that women and the priesthood are. The revelation of 1979 came only after much publicity, pressure, and protesting. Did you know that people picketed and boycotted BYU games? Am I implying that the revelation wasn't from God? In part yes. I think it came from God but I think the political pressure played a greater role in the timing than most are likely to admit. Just like the pressure from the government and social society preceded the end of polygamy.

So why is no one picketing BYU games? I think it may be because women's issues aren't on the same playing field as civil rights. I also think the church has polarized itself. Too many are putting women's rights along with gay rights. I think all should have rights, but I'm not getting on this soap box right now.

Now I'm not burning my bras; heaven knows I need to lock and load the girls. I'm not even wearing pants to church, even though it would be a lot easier because I wouldn't have to shave my legs (which I usually don't anyways). What I want people to get from this, is to understand the background and not just the stance.

The idea that virtue is tied to whether a person has worth teaches people that if they make a mistake or if they have been abused, they are worthless. The idea that your purpose is tied to your ability to have children, is flawed and perpetrates the idea of worthlessness. I should not be defined by what comes out of my uterus, because that would make me a bloody mess right now.

I believe there needs to be a change. I don't know if women having the Priesthood is the best option, but I think movement is better than the stagnant worthlessness the church is currently teaching.