So I've started a new book. It's called "The Road", and it's inspired me to plan what I would do if I were one of the last two people alive.
First of all, I would never repopulate the Earth. For starters, our sex drive will probably have disappeared due to malnutrition. Secondly, who would marry us? Would God send down an angel like with Adam and Eve? Any child born to us would literally be a bastard child. And with me as a parent, the children won't have much of chance at success anyways. Also, there are too many complications that go along with childbirth. I mean, the odds of me surviving that without an epidural are minuscule. The book talked about having a baby in the kitchen and cutting the chord with kitchen shears. No thank you.
I would most definitely go all Britney Spears circa 2007, and shave my head. It's not going to be like "The Walking Dead" where I am perfectly covered in dirt and my hair is still perfectly curled.
I will probably not have any beef with cannibalism. Yes, the pun was intended. I know, I know about the Donner party, but I think they just didn't know how to prepare the meat properly.
I would immediately start travelling south to a warmer climate. I would hoard things like guns, gasoline, batteries, razors (because we all know that our cultural norm of shaved legs will not go away), and blankets.
If the end does include a trek to Missouri, I will most definitely be blasting St. Lunatics and Britney Spears from the battery powered speakers in my wagon.
No comments:
Post a Comment