Yesterday I got up to go to my besties house to help her clean/move. I decided to use the restroom before going and then had the extreme urge to void again. I told myself it's all in my mind, so I drove over to her house, whilst counting down the minutes (literally) until I could use the toilet again. When she opened the door I said "I think I have a UTI, can I use your bathroom?". Sure enough I was voiding blood at this point and a phone call to my doctor (after being on hold with them for 7 minutes all while being curled up in the fetal position at her dinner table) I was on my way to the doctors.
When I'm in situations like this I use 10 minute increments to survive. I tell myself "In ten minutes I'll stop at the next restroom" and when 10 minutes pass I tell myself "In ten minutes I'll stop at the next restroom". All the while I'm praying like crazy to help me get there without peeing my pants or getting a ticket.
When I got to the office, I had to wait for about 10 minutes. I practiced my la maz breathing. I'm sure the people in the waiting room were concerned as to why I was bent over and breathing funny, but I could have cared less what other people thought of me.
The nurse called me back and apologized for the wait. I told her "No, I'm sure you've been waiting all day for this." And then she cathed me. The catheter she used was about 3 times larger than the one I had at Instacare 3 weeks ago. It was larger than a straw and hurt going in and especially coming out.
She came back in and told me it was "most likely" an UTI since there was "tons of blood and some white cells". They always say "most likely", love the political correctness. I was hunched completely over and holding myself and asked "Can I use the restroom before I leave?" She responded by laughing and stating "I emptied you!" She then tilted her head to the side and said "I want to take your temperature before you leave". Which she did and it was "normal" and then I used the restroom.
She sent me downstairs to the pharmacy, where I was told there was a 20-25 minute wait. I went in and out of the bathroom 3 times during the wait. At one point the pharmacy tech asked me if I was Amy. I responded "No, but if there are narcotics, I can be Amy". That was one of the few times everyone laughed at my jokes.
When they called me up for my prescription, the first thing the pharmacist told me was to avoid the sun since the medication would make me extremely sensitive. I said "You mean other than being really white?" I should have better screened myself because he was a balding redhead who didn't think it was funny. He then told me to stop taking my vitamins because the medication would stop my body from processing them. I asked if ice cream was still ok (because it has calcium in it). He said ice cream was fine. I breathed a sigh of relief and he raised his eyebrows. I told him the last medication I was on I had to wait 2+ hours to eat ice cream and it wasn't good. He then repeatedly instructed me to only take the antibiotic on a full stomach. I wanted to take it as soon as possible, so I grabbed the $0.20 Charleston Chew next to me and asked "How many of these are considered a full stomach?". He said "You're going to have to do better." I replied "Is a Snickers better?" and he said "That's getting there". I bought a overpriced Snickers without a coupon (I've forgot to mention I'm completely addicted to couponing). On my way out he said "See you later" to which I responded "Hopefully not anytime soon" and he finally laughed.
I made a pit stop in the restroom where I ate my snickers and took my medicine and prepared mentally for the 10 minute cycle. I tried calling my mom but she didn't answer.
I drove back to Katie's house and when she opened the door I said "I'm going to use your restroom and then I'm going to clean your house."
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